I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
