mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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