Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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