talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
