No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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