K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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