I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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