Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
