If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
