As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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