For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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