you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
