love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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