she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
