yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
