and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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