You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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