Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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