i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
