Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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