The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
