big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
