I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
