just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize