this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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