if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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