i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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