shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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