I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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