we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
