he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
