Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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