i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
