Dual....:-)
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
