considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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