Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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