Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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