i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
