hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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