this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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