is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
