He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
