We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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