last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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