So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
