Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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