through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
