i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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