I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
