You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
