i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
