I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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