Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
