that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
