the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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