So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
