remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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