Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
