I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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