Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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