can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
