yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your penis caused this!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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