there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Life is so much better after having sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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